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Catching Feelings

The classes were finished. The horses taken back to the barn and put away. Ribbons were collected and given to parents to hold, and the most rousing game of tag with all of the kids followed. As the sun began to set on the Texas Hill Country, Kylie and I began to walk back to the truck for the drive back to the hotel.

The drive was about fifteen minutes from the show grounds, so we had a little bit of time to kill on the road. I had thrown my phone up on the dash, as we pulled out of the drive way and looked over at her and smiled. "Kylie what was your favorite part of the show?" I asked with a smile. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "What's wrong baby?" I asked with concern. She replies in muted tones, "Momma I don't want you to be mad."

I take a slow deep breath, and remind her that I wont be mad, I just like for us to talk about our feelings when we are having them.

She responds with "Okay Momma, just don't be upset." Lord help me, so many thoughts are racing through my mind. I feel like she is about to drop a bomb shell in my lap. Maybe she is about to tell me she hates horses, maybe she is about to tell me she wants us to sell them all. Lord Give me strength.

She says "Momma, I know I have to share you with everyone. And Momma I don't mind at all. However when I get spend time with you, and it just be us. That is always going to be my favorite part of any adventure."

I felt like a ton of bricks just landed on my chest at that moment. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt a single warm tear trace a line down my cheek. She whispers, "I knew you would be mad." I pulled the truck over, undid her seat belt and pulled her into my lap with probably a little to much force, because she squeaked in surprise. I wrapped her up in my arms, as she clung to my neck. "Baby, I whispered into her hair, spending time with you will always be my favorite part of any adventure too." We must have sat like that for several minutes, before she gasps "Momma you are crushing me!" Followed by a giggle, just like from the movie "Lilo and Stich!"

This wonderful, fiery, young lady always seems to have a way of keeping me on my toes; both physically and emotionally. Now after the horse show hangover is wearing off, I find that I need to make sure that when I am with my daughter, that I am truly with her. The phone will stay in the house or on silent. When we are out riding together we will not have the outside world interference on our conversation. I find myself promising to myself to give my only daughter more of me, both physically and emotionally.

#hardconversations #leblancladies #spreadlove

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