COVID and I
Wow, I don't know where to start. Have you ever felt the weight of change land on your shoulders unexpectedly? Do you see the way society is slowly shifting? I was listening to a pod cast the other morning while working horses, and they were discussing grief and how it relates to our current situation. Brene Brown brings up a very valid point, certain aspects of our daily life are slowly fading away, and we can't move through a grieving process until we find the end of COVID pandemic, because we still don't know what we have truly lost yet. In the mean time, just breathe.
Right now I am sure that I have lost my sanity, and now I am moving through the grief process of what was my normal routine. On top of being a single mom, owning a horse farm, and working a forty hour a week job, I find that I have to be a home school teacher too. Yall, I am not a good teacher of educational material. I myself have a college degree and several hours on my masters degree, however I find that I absolutely can not do fifth grade math!! I don't remember when the mayflower landed on Plymouth rock, I do not know what causes mold to grow and for the life of me I can not diagram a sentence.
Okay, hang on, I know that if i leave cheese in the back of the fridge for several weeks it will get very fuzzy. So I kinda understand that part of science.
Right now while I find my self in a small shame spiral, feeling in adequate to live up to all of the roles in my life, I have to try and find moments of gratitude. Though I know I can't live up to being a teacher, I love the fact I get to spend more time with my daughter. Even though he does tend to roll her eyes a lot at me while working on math. She is 11 years old now, basically a grown up in her own mind. I have 7 years before she is moving out of the house to begin her own journey. That is 7 short years, to help her find appreciation in life, gratitude for what she has, and continue to cultivate a passion to learn!
COVID may have slowed down other aspects of my life, but it has made me sit down for a minute. COVID moved in like a bad room mate but forced my daughter in the same room for more that a passing glance. While we are all forced to slow down our life, I think I am going to set new goals for myself and my daughter.
We are going to try and live life off of technology for a while. Game nights, cooking, and getting caught up on laundry. I am going to find happiness in presence of moments, I am going to work more on my writing, and encourage my daughters artistic side.
How often have we said, "I wish I had the time?" or "I want to start this, but there is no time!" The universe has given us more time, in the most unconventional way. With the down time that we have been given, what are you going to do? How are you handling quarantine? Did you finally give yourself the time to ....?