Tough Conversations on the Fly
The sun is setting on another south east Texas day. I have spent most of the day working with horses and teaching lessons. Though I work out of the farm where me and my daughter live, there are several days were we don't get to spend a lot of time together during the day. Kylie and I have taken to going on walks in evenings so we can talk and hang out. We set out on a walk down the lane, our pack of dogs at our heels. We start down the trail towards the creek, and Kylie is running ahead a little bit. As we get closer to the creek she dives off in with her dog to try and catch fish.
I sit down on the edge of the creek to watch her and her dog romp and splash in the water, I am defiantly taking several mental snapshots of these moments. These are the most regular moments in my life that make me feel extraordinary.
Kylie laughs and smiles at me when she sees that I have sat down on the bank. Her dog and her are chasing tiny fish up and down the creek and it has her distracted for a while. However after several minutes she trapes up the bank covered in water and muck with her fluffy dog at her feet giggling. They both stop and shake sending water and clumps of mud everywhere!! GAH I scream and jump back laughing at her.
She plops down in the dirt next to me as her aussie tears back down the creek in search of her next adventure. Kylie takes a deep breath and sighs, "Momma" she says. "Yea baby" I answer. She says "can I ask you a question?" "Of course!" I answer, maybe a tad to enthusiastically. I am fully aware that there will come a day when she maybe doesn't want to hang out and chat with me. "Momma, who is George Floyd?"
"Well baby" I begin with a little bit a trepidation, cause lets be real I dont know how to have this kind of conversation or where this conversation is going to lead. You see, George Floyd was being detained by some officers in Minneapolis and the officers murdered him. "Hmm" she responds as she pulls her knees up closer to her chest and rests her chin on top of her knees. "Did the officers hurt him because he was black?" Lord help me this child is more aware of society than I would like her to be! "Yes" I nod in response, it appears so. "Is that why people are protesting and rioting?" she asks curiously. I take a deep steadying breath, this conversation is going deep quickly. Yes baby, I answer, that is exactly why they are doing that. Well okay, she looks at me with questions ... "but why are they doing that? Because it wont bring him back."
Welp honey, you know when I am answering emails or texts on my phone and you are trying to talk to me. "Yes" she answers with a head tilt, not quite understanding. You know when I continue to text or type and I don't acknowledge you standing in front of me. "Gah!!" she exclaims, "that makes me so angry momma!!" I look her in the eye, you get so angry that you could throw something right? "Momma, are they angry because we don"t see them?"
"Yes my love," we don't see them in the way that they would like to be seen. Several moments pass in silence. "You know what Mom" she stands up, I get it!! "It seems a little excessive to burn down a building but I hope they what they get the change that they are looking for."
She starts walking away and looks back over her shoulder. "Momma lets go, Im hungry!" "Okay" I sigh. Lets go.
Just like the changing of the winds, she manages to bring up hard conversations and then worry about eating. This child of mine is going to change the world one day, I just have to survive raising her first.